My incidents with Malawian Animals: Part 2

My second incident with a Malawian "animal" took place during our second trip out of Blantyre. This time we went to Zomba Plateau. It is also a mountain, but less steep than Mulanje and instead of trudging up 6 hours you hitch a ride to find opulent to basic accommodation at the top. We managed to catch a ride and after some confusion with bookings (overbooking is common) we found ourselves housed with two Dutch girls in a very basic log cabin at a Trout Farm.

This time we noticed there were mosquito nets hanging in the familiar knot above the beds. Despite this we saw no mosquitoes. Nigel was convinced the elevation was too high for mosquitoes on Zomba and I reluctantly agreed to ignore the net and just sleep without it. It was nicer without the net draping like an inverted cone and tucked in tight to your mattress despite keeping out reptiles and bugs. Did I mention that Malawi is a malarial zone?

The hum of mosquitoes just on the other side took a while to get used to when we first arrived in Malawi. If you were to accidentally lean a limb against the net at some point during the night you would find a welt of bites from well fed mosquitoes. In order to avoid this you had to lie much closer to the middle of the bed. In the day they would hide in our closets, under beds, and in any cracks. Unlike mosquitoes back home they were almost impossible to kill. They had some sort of aerodynamic body that must have carried them off on a slight current of air from a swift movement towards them in murder.

I went to sleep on this particular night feeling the current of air that is usually stifled by the drapery of net. I blissfully floated off to dream land. Sigh.

I awoke at some point in the middle of the night in the dark to at least one mosquito buzzing around my head. For any of you who have tried to cover your head with a blanket and then became so suffocatingly hot and lacking in oxygen, you will understand my only thought was to get the mosquito net over me. I sat up and as I opened what was supposed to be two eyes, only one fully opened. The other lid had been sucked of all its blood and replaced with what felt like a quart of mosquito venom. I could not open it. It was swollen shut.

I fumbled with the mosquito net knot as Nigel stirred. "What are you doing?!" "I am getting the net down" "Why!?" "Because apparently we are low enough to get mosquitoes, I have one buzzing around my head and I can't even open one of my eye lids I have been bitten so badly! But don't worry I will just put the net around me and not bother you any more." As I continue I hear him say, "You could put it around me too if you want."

I should follow this story by saying that both Nigel and my entire family say I am an exaggerator. I say people like an interesting story and would rather hear a bit of elaboration than a hum drum monotone meandering. All of these stories are true, they were just seen through my fantastical eyes!