The Fushia Dress

I dreamt I was visiting home and had my graduation in about an hour. It was not clear what my graduation involved because I had only written "graduation" in my day timer several weeks before. It might have been getting together with friends, a formal ceremony, or some sort of dinner and dance. None the less, I had taken the optimistic approach and was fully dressed in a long fuchsia dress with flats (as opposed to heels). (I think this must have had something to do with wearing a fuchsia dress for Easter the day before in real life and not being sure whether it was really the right look for me or not) I was on a short grocery shopping trip in the late afternoon with my mom, sister and her children before all the evening activities were to begin. As I loaded the groceries into the bags, I noticed several rotten vegetables had been selected. The check out was done and I told them to hang on a second while I ran and exchanged the produce for better stuff. I left my wallet and bag tucked in one of the grocery bags, picked up the few rotten ones and was off. As I arrived in produce my eyes began to uncontrollably shut and I could only prop them open for short intervals making it hard to be quick. I noticed the lemons were all a little scrawny, but when I went to exchange the one in my hand I could barely see what the one I picked up looked like. This was the same for the zucchini and the squash. Of course I was just picking similar sizes and not about to go through check out again to make this all official. The plan was to just walk out the door with my mom and sister who had the receipt. (my eyes shutting is a recurring problem I have had in my dreams since childhood when I would dream I awoke to a big commotion but couldn't open my eyes to see anything. I have since developed the ability to see through my eyelids, but not consistently) As I finished in produce I headed back over to the check-out counter they had been at. They weren't there. I assumed they had loaded the kids in the car and were in the parking lot so I headed outside clutching my vegetables nervously past the security guard. But the parking lot was pretty bare. Both my mom and sister had arrived in separate cars. I checked on the street as well, but didn't see them. I even waited awhile as it got dark, but they didn't reappear. I glanced at my watch and noted my graduation was just starting. I considered my options. I didn't have my wallet with me anymore, but I did have a pocket full of change. I spotted a payphone in the parking lot with Russian instructions that only took bills in euros. I then asked the security guard about a phone. He pointed to a red fireman's chair with a phone built on the back. He began explaining how to work it and how to put the multiple coins in at the right intervals. But on closer inspection my pocket change was just a lot of hair elastics and pennies. I went out to the main road again to assess my options. A bird crapped on my shoulder as I stood there, but unlike my previous bad luck there happened to be a towel lying right at my feet. I wiped it off. What were my options? I could walk home. It would probably take about an hour, I would be sweaty and miss my graduation. But it would be great for making a "victim's" impact when I arrived dramatically. I could call collect to see if someone would come and get me (although rush hour had started and it seemed unlikely). Or I could just wait there even longer and perhaps try to get to my graduation. As I was going over my options I woke up and thought the dream had more to do with me as a person, what I saw as my options, and how I responded to the situation.

Dorset, UK: All Other Destinations

Our last day in Dorset we really boot it around the place! We stop in the small town of Wareham and wander the one main street. We find a "farmer's market" and feel very awkward being the only people in there. We are watched by all 10 vendors and feel like everyone is hoping and expecting us to buy their homemade jams and baking. I can't even bring myself to sample the brownie bits put out because I feel so self conscious! A quick stroll to the local river and back stretches our legs. We head towards the coast again and pass huge tracts of farm and grazing land. We again reach the coast where we find much more rustic beach houses than in Bournemouth. The beach is pretty secluded and we try to figure out how to get up on the cliffs. Ah ha...we find the path! We can now see the point we are trying to reach. There are precipice that we can balance out onto to get a view. I grow extremely nervous and suddenly remember one of my recurring dreams in which I am on the edge of a cliff, just trying to walk by, and there is a strong gravitational force sucking me over the edge. I have had this dream ever since I was a kid and now can't get it out of my mind as I balance over a small bridge of grass linking a chunk of cliff that sticks out just a bit further from the edge. I sit my bum down on the grass to calm down and Nigel gets a picture. Refusing to move closer to the edge I take a picture from where I am sitting of Nigel. The point is famously called "Old Harry Rocks". It is stunning. We can look across the inlet and see the white cliffs of Dover mimicking the white chalk cliffs we are standing on. On the way out we pass a great looking pub. Next we drive to Swanage and wander around the quaint village. Nigel's best friend's father used to be the minister at this Methodist Church in Swanage. Back on the road we pass through a military zone. Strangely, it shows the road on our road map but our Sat Nav (GPS) shows no indication of a road until we are actually on it and then it a dotted line appears on which we are driving. I am assuming Sat Nav does not display military zones. Our final destination is Lulworth Cove. It is literally a small collections of houses in a valley with a beautiful cove on the ocean. The cove. The rock formations are brilliant. You can see a group of high school students out on a field trip having a geology lesson at the top of this hill. There is a very long hike up a mountain and the view looking back at the cove and village is magnificent! The top is pretty nice too, but we head back down again. Some of the thatched roof stone houses in the village of Lulworth.

My Dream

I dream vividly, I dream a lot and I usually remember what I dream. Some are profound, some recurrent, some adventurous and fantastical. Their mood usually sticks with me for a long time throughout a morning. The night before last there was one moment that I kept thinking about in the morning. It was the 19th century and after a whole series of adventures I sat down with Nigel who was working on experiments in clinically putting someone to death and then reviving them using the anaesthetics of that time. He asked me to be his subject along with another doctor and patient. He said I could trust him. I sat in the chair while he reassured me everything would be okay. He would initially give me ether to relax and take me into a semi-unconscious state followed by lethal injections to stop my body from living. It wouldn't hurt and it wouldn't last longer than a moment. I remember I trusted him with my life implicitly. He put the ether soaked cloth close to my nose and I began smelling the fumes and drowsing off a bit. I closed my eyes. Then he injected two needles into the gums in my mouth and I waited to feel death come as he rubbed my arm and reassured me. I opened my eyes for one last look at him before I died and saw that he was crying uncontrollably. I imagined he was thinking about what it might be like if I really was dying. I felt my veins burn a bit as the serum travelled around my body and my breathing slowly stopped as I drifted backwards down a long dark space. I waited to suddenly be brought forward towards the light and see him immediately, but I kept moving backwards into the darkness. Something had gone wrong. I wasn't going back. I wasn't breathing. I was dead. Then slowly I felt a little bit of a breath catch in my chest and my blood moved again. I felt transformed through another tunnel but in a different direction and a different time. I slowly became aware of where I was as my breathing steadied and I slowly awoke. I was in present day real life lying next to the present day Nigel. I was both relieved and grateful to be alive and still with Nigel, but also grieved for the Nigel that was left in the last century, with what I knew was a dead wife.