Monday, April 05, 2010
The Fushia Dress
I dreamt I was visiting home and had my graduation in about an hour. It was not clear what my graduation involved because I had only written "graduation" in my day timer several weeks before. It might have been getting together with friends, a formal ceremony, or some sort of dinner and dance. None the less, I had taken the optimistic approach and was fully dressed in a long fuchsia dress with flats (as opposed to heels). (I think this must have had something to do with wearing a fuchsia dress for Easter the day before in real life and not being sure whether it was really the right look for me or not) I was on a short grocery shopping trip in the late afternoon with my mom, sister and her children before all the evening activities were to begin. As I loaded the groceries into the bags, I noticed several rotten vegetables had been selected. The check out was done and I told them to hang on a second while I ran and exchanged the produce for better stuff. I left my wallet and bag tucked in one of the grocery bags, picked up the few rotten ones and was off. As I arrived in produce my eyes began to uncontrollably shut and I could only prop them open for short intervals making it hard to be quick. I noticed the lemons were all a little scrawny, but when I went to exchange the one in my hand I could barely see what the one I picked up looked like. This was the same for the zucchini and the squash. Of course I was just picking similar sizes and not about to go through check out again to make this all official. The plan was to just walk out the door with my mom and sister who had the receipt. (my eyes shutting is a recurring problem I have had in my dreams since childhood when I would dream I awoke to a big commotion but couldn't open my eyes to see anything. I have since developed the ability to see through my eyelids, but not consistently) As I finished in produce I headed back over to the check-out counter they had been at. They weren't there. I assumed they had loaded the kids in the car and were in the parking lot so I headed outside clutching my vegetables nervously past the security guard. But the parking lot was pretty bare. Both my mom and sister had arrived in separate cars. I checked on the street as well, but didn't see them. I even waited awhile as it got dark, but they didn't reappear. I glanced at my watch and noted my graduation was just starting. I considered my options. I didn't have my wallet with me anymore, but I did have a pocket full of change. I spotted a payphone in the parking lot with Russian instructions that only took bills in euros. I then asked the security guard about a phone. He pointed to a red fireman's chair with a phone built on the back. He began explaining how to work it and how to put the multiple coins in at the right intervals. But on closer inspection my pocket change was just a lot of hair elastics and pennies. I went out to the main road again to assess my options. A bird crapped on my shoulder as I stood there, but unlike my previous bad luck there happened to be a towel lying right at my feet. I wiped it off. What were my options? I could walk home. It would probably take about an hour, I would be sweaty and miss my graduation. But it would be great for making a "victim's" impact when I arrived dramatically. I could call collect to see if someone would come and get me (although rush hour had started and it seemed unlikely). Or I could just wait there even longer and perhaps try to get to my graduation. As I was going over my options I woke up and thought the dream had more to do with me as a person, what I saw as my options, and how I responded to the situation.